They say money can’t buy you happiness, when I say “They say”
I mean un-wealthy people say that, Why? It makes them feel better about not
being rich. They see happiness as a gift,
that you don’t need money to have happiness. Look at homeless people they have
no money but they’re not happy unless they’re drunk, man they love being drunk!
When I was younger I saw two homeless men passed out spooning each other, it
was heart warming until the big spoon threw up on the little spoon and a fight
broke out. The little spoon won the fight which shows just because you like the
warmth and protection of being the little spoon doesn’t make you a pansy (I
should really start calling people pansies again, it’s a great word).
Over the years I’ve had some rather interesting conversations
with homeless people, I think I converse with them more than normal people do,
but less than someone who works in a shelter. Notice how I refer to them as Homeless
people and not Hobos, they find that word offence, like black people with the
N-word. one tramp sticks out in mind, he was more of a vagabond than your plain
average have you got 50p tramp, I was waiting for my bus and he was sheltering
from the rain, we got talking and he told me of a story how he got caught
sleeping in someone’s shed so they hit him in the head with an axe, he showed
me the scar, I was 13 at the time the scar was awesome, he was a great story
teller, he really knew how to connect with his audience.
Anywhoo back to the point happiness... Happiness is a lot
like love, people tell you that you have to find it, which is fine but I’m
terrible at finding things. Rhianna found love in a hopeless place; I’m surprised
she could see love with the black eye Chris Brown gave her. She’s apparently dating Chris Brown again, normally I’d say “she’s a
grown woman she can make her own decisions” but four songs ago she didn’t even
know her own name so maybe someone should step in and tell her it’s a bad idea.
Either way kudos to Rhianna for finding
love, I could never find Wally so I doubt I’d be any good at finding love, I was
always the last kid to find Wally, I’d be staring blankly at the pages while
all the other kids stared at me, waiting for me to find the ever elusive Wally,
I’d clam up and say I found him just so we could move on. This left me with the
same feeling you get when you’re at crowded urinals and you get stage fright so
you simply zip up and walk away, defeatism at its worst. Speaking of Wally what
the fuck was that prick doing in Egypt wearing a woolly sweater and a woolly hat
midday it’s about 35 degrees in Egypt (Siri just told me that. technology, isn’t
it marvellous) He would be sweating his fucking balls off. Also who was his
travel agent? You go on Holiday to get away from people, his hotels always
looked over booked, I guess he must have stayed in hostels which explain why he
could afford to travel to all those destinations.
Reading this back I realise it makes me come off as quite an
unhappy person, but no I’m actually a very happy person (usually). Well not
happy, fat people are never described as happy, it’s always jolly, you never
get a skinny jolly person, jolliness is a fat mans trait, the same as a happy
out going fat bird is ‘bubbly’. If you go on a blind date and the other person is
described as Jolly or Bubbly don’t expect a size zero model to turn up, expect
someone who loves desserts. I only bring up happiness because at the moment I’m
pretty poor, so people keep saying to me
money can’t buy you happiness, it would be fine if I knew I wasn’t getting
money soon, I’m currently waiting for payday which means I can afford to do
things that make me happy, but until then I’m like a teenage boy who is waiting for the
woman to get her tits out on babe station, I know in time I’m getting paid, as
he knows in time she’ll get her tits out,
but that time just isn’t coming fast
enough.
